Tis The Season
by violet-phoenix-rose
Summary: There is a time and place for tacky Christmas sweaters and misinformation and Pepper's attempts at being a den mother. Stark Tower on Christmas is probably not it. Rating for language.


Obviously I own nothing. Idea inspired by a post on the Avengers Headcanons tumblr.

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It should go without saying that their first Christmas as a proper team doesn't go according to plan. The fact that no one really has family to spend it with is probably the first sign that December 25 is going to be a day that will live in infamy as far as SHEILD is concerned, but things don't actually get bad until Thor "accidentally" discovers the ancient tradition of tacky Christmas sweaters. Later, Natasha will pin Tony against a wall and threaten him with various weaponry until he admits he thought it was a good idea to enlighten the demigod regarding ridiculous holiday traditions, but as of roughly eleven in the morning on Christmas Day, no one knows this.

The gift exchange is done before Pepper wanders off to make sure the holiday meal doesn't get set on fire _again_, which naturally means that she organizes it. She's the one who thought keeping everyone together on major holidays was a great idea in the first place, and being the wonderful den mother that she is, she insisted on everyone exchanging presents. The first couple of parcels are pretty standard - Tony bought everyone fancy electronic gizmos, Bruce's contributions veer towards the scientific, and Steve's recent discovery of classic movies has led to some interesting choices. Then they get to the pile of lumpy wrapped things and everything goes to pieces for the second time that day.

Tony is the first to open his. It takes exactly three seconds for his expression to shift from amusement to confusion. "What the fuck is this?" he asks, holding up what just might be the tackiest Christmas sweater of all time. The entire front of the sweater is taken up by a snowman, perhaps the furthest thing from any object of clothing he would voluntarily wear. It figures.

"You said it was an Earth tradition," Thor mutters, not entirely sure what the problem is.

"I didn't tell you to get…" Tony starts, but by then the others have opened their packages and pulled out similarly atrocious garments. It's a little too late now.

It gets worse about a minute later when Pepper insists that everyone put their sweaters on, presumably to make sure they fit. Considering she's wielding a fairly large kitchen knife by then, she gets less than the usual number of complaints. If the sweaters were bad when folded up, they're worse on, and there's a good number of complaints. Tasha in particular isn't very fond of hers and makes a series of sarcastic comments about the fact that there are reindeer antlers on her boobs. Indeed, everyone reacts poorly… everyone except Clint, who either doesn't care or finds the whole situation hilarious. Probably both.

Half an hour later, once the gifting extravaganza is over and everyone's gone their separate ways while they wait for the meal to be ready, Tasha corners him. She's still wearing the stupid reindeer sweater, if only because she's in no mood to annoy Pepper. It's a holiday, after all, and she has standards _somewhere_. It doesn't help that the atrocity actually fits, in a weird sort of way, and might actually look good if it weren't so inherently tacky. Clint, on the other hand, got the one sweater that looks even worse than the reindeer nightmare. Most of the front is taken up by a Christmas tree that lights up, and the background is red. He looks like he ought to _be_ a Christmas tree, Tasha thinks, albeit of the Charlie Brown variety. "You can't be serious," she mutters.

"What'd I do, babe?" As if it's really that shocking that she's growling at him for no apparent reason.

"Everyone else is plotting revenge and you're actually _wearing_ the damn thing. How is a light-up piece of clothing supposed to be a good idea?"

"It's the holidays, Tash. Live a little."

She's still glaring at him when he kisses her exactly thirteen seconds later


End file.
